Not Tonight
by Fiction.at.Love
Summary: A depressed Nuriko reflects over the death of Korin and a certain emperor is there to comfort him. Sad, but sweet in the end. (Nuriko/Hotohori) Shounen Ai R&R Plez!


Author's notes: I hope everyone will like this little fic I wrote! I really don't know much about Nuriko's child hood, but here it goes. Enjoy!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any Fushigi Yugi characters (sadly)!   
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Not Tonight   
  
//I hardly ever drink. But tonight¡­it's different. I need the sake to numb the pain. Tasuki had gotten drunk again and gone back to his room leaving me all alone. I had endured all I can, now it's my time to truly be myself//   
  
Nuriko raised the glass to his lips, savoring the dulling effect of the bitter, dry liquid left on his lips. He wore a blank face; eyes contained an almost distant look. After a few minutes, he sighed, turning his gaze to the nearly dry glass in his hand. The violet-haired seishi tightened his grip on the cup. It cracked into pieces under the pressure. Glass shards mingled with blood making a scarlet trail down his wrist. He curled his hand into a fist, making the sharp glass pieces imbed further inside his palm. The young man's features still remained emotionless.   
  
A rainstorm began outside. Sheets of water droplets pour down like the glass beads of a broken necklace. The wind howled, making the trees sway in their path.   
  
//I remember it as if it was yesterday// He brooded //It was drizzling too, just like now¡­//  
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~* Flashback *~  
  
"You promised you would take me to the lakeside today, oniichan!" A purple-haired girl of nine smiled   
  
"Just a minute Korin" A ten-year old Ryuuen grinned   
  
The two siblings were often mistaken for twins. They were rarely seen apart.   
  
The weather has been pleasant these past few days. The sun shined its intense rays almost daily. It was a few days ago when Ryuuen had agree to take his sister to the shore of the near by brook to play.   
  
The boy took a hold of the girl's hand as they pass the usual busy market place. They stopped here and there to see the different merchandise sold by the vendors. Korin was happily skipping ahead as Ryuuen walked behind her.   
  
"Look out!" came a shout near by   
  
Then, an object came into view. It was heavily loaded with straw. The cart went hurtling down the road in breakneck velocity directly toward the crowd. Everyone cleared a path for the cart to go through and its owner chasing behind it.   
  
"Korin!" The purple-haired boy attempted to seize his sister and pull her out of the way "Move out of the way!"   
  
It was no use. The cart came charging at the little girl as a scream pierces the air. The dust flew up from the passing cart. When it was distinct enough to see, A figure was laying on the ground. Her pale features twisted into an expression of pain with burgundy colored blood trailing down the corner of her mouth.   
  
Ryuuen couldn't move. His body was shocked stiff. After a few seconds, he kneeled next to his sister's body.   
  
"K-Korin?" The boy's voice trembled with heavy effort "Korin, get up¡­"  
  
The boy cradled the girl close to him. He buried his head upon the lifeless girl's shoulder. A sob escaped him, a heart wrenching sob that came from the soul itself. A crowd had formed a circle around the two.   
  
"No¡­" Ryuuen's shoulder trembled from his tears "NO!"  
  
A heavy rain had begun to fall. The boy tilts his head to the heavens. It was as if Suzaku himself is crying for her. The raindrops splashed upon the brother's face, mingling with his tears, forming small rivulets running down his cheeks. The raindrops drenched his clothing and soaked him to the bone, but that didn't matter.  
  
~* End Flashback *~  
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Nuriko didn't even know when was the last time he cried, but tears had flown freely down his cheeks.   
  
//Why? Why couldn't it have been me?// The shichiseish had buried his face inside his arms // Am I Lady Kourin, a member of the Imperial Herm? Or am I Nuriko, the Suzaku seishi warrior? I've been trying to become Korin for so long, to keep her memory alive, that I have forgotten. Who am I? I've been here long enough to call the other seishis my kin, but no matter how hard I tried, I can never really be myself with anyone, not even family. Sometimes, I feel like I had on Chichiri's mask. That was the face I shown to the word. But inside, I have the same scars of the past just like him¡­ To feel unloved and alone is truly a bitter taste. Hotohori-sama is someone¡­special to me. Why am I kidding myself? Why does my heart never learn? Why do I always have a sparse of hope that he might somehow¡­care for me too? He does not love me, never will. He loves Miaka. I want to hate the Suzaku no Miko, but¡­she's a dear friend that I could never bring myself to dislike. I've learned that¡­it's better to watch from the side and be happy for friends than join the show and get hurt.//   
  
"Nuriko?" A hand was placed on his shoulder  
  
The seishi hastily wiped his tears away and turned  
  
The concerned face of the young emperor came into view.   
  
"H-Hotohori-sama" Nuriko's eyes widen slightly, not expecting to see his fellow teammate "What are you still doing up?"  
  
"I should ask you the same thing" A small half smile played on his face   
  
"I¡­" He turned away, unable to reply "was just thinking about things"  
  
"I couldn't sleep" The copper-eyed young man respond before delicately stepping next to his fellow seishi and sat down next to him in one graceful, smooth motion "so I thought I should take a stroll."   
  
The violet haired youth shifted at the nearness of the attractive man.   
  
"You're bleeding" A frown has formed upon the emperor's face. He took Nuriko's hand in his own.   
  
The smaller seishi flinched at the sudden contact, but relaxes to it.   
  
The emperor of Konan's slender fingers gently examine the wound   
  
"How did this happen?" his voice was gentle yet laced with concern   
  
"A glass broke" the other boy withdrew his hand blushing slightly   
  
An uncomforting silence stretched over the two. All was heard is the sound of the constant raindrops upon the roof. The smaller seishi absentmindedly twirled a strand of his hair around his slim index finger.   
  
"I use to love the rain" Hotohori broke the ice "I remember when I was young, the drumming of the water drops would lull me to sleep. Mother was hardly ever around, the rain was the sole companion I had."  
  
"Funny, my memories of this weather has always been somewhat haunting" Nuriko laughed bitterly  
  
"How so?"  
  
"It rained when Korin¡­my sister¡­died" Nuriko felt a lump forming in his throat, but held it back.   
  
"I'm sorry" The emperor soothe quietly   
  
"Don't be"   
  
"I know how you must feel, lo-" Hotohori started  
  
"No you don't!" the violet-haired boy lashed out, rose up from his seat on the bench. "Don't pretend to care!"  
  
"Nuriko-"   
  
"No. Don't Nuriko me" He wanted to stop, but the words come out by themselves. "You have no idea what it's like to lose someone. The pains of having to witness your own sister die. To hear her scream that could pierce the soul¡­and to know that no matter how much you want to keep her memories close to you, you will always forget in the end."   
  
The tears overflow, staining his cheeks once more.   
  
"I'm not pretending that I care, I do" Hotohori stood and enclosed his arms around the smaller boy in a gesture of comfort "I care about you Nuriko. You and Korin were close, I know losing her is not easy for you"   
  
Surprised by the sudden motion, Nuriko laid his head on the emperor's chest as tears stream down his face.   
  
"Gomen nasai Hotohori-sama" The boy sniffled "I didn't mean-"  
  
"SSsshh¡­" The brown-haired youth gently cradled the other seishi in his arms and   
stroked his soft hair "Everyone needs a release sometimes"  
  
"Thank you" Nuriko replied quietly. Finally the tears had dried.   
  
"Nuriko" The emperor tilt the smaller boy's jaws to look directly into his eyes "whenever you need to talk, I'll be here for you"   
  
"Now go to bed, that's an order" He hesitantly leans forward and placed a kiss on the smaller boy's cheek "Good night."  
  
The violet-haired boy was too surprised to reply anything. He placed his hand by his cheek as heat rose to his face.   
  
"'Night" Nuriko watched the graceful figure of the emperor fades out of view //maybe someday¡­I'll tell him how much I love him, but not now¡­not tonight//   
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~Finish~  
What do you think? A bit too depressed? R&R Plez! ^-^;; 


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